Finding Me: Why Am I Doing This Again?

Last week I explained How I am doing this weight Loss Journey this time around.  This week I want to  delve into the WHY am I doing this, yet again:
I'm sure that you have your own reasons WHY you are not doing anything.  Or WHY you have chosen the plan or path that you have.  Or a list of reasons that explain the WHY that motivates you.  If you don't, after reading mine, please sit down and think about it and make a list of your own WHY!

• I have a child.  I want my child to grow up with a positive body image!  To not be constantly seeing her mommy gaining and losing weight.  And definitely not hearing me referring to myself as fat or wearing fat clothes, yet again....  She's tall and extremely slender and will probably take after her dad and remain that way.  I've strived to instill in her a sense of balance in her eating choices.  To choose healthy foods.  To realize that water is life giving and soda is evil.
• I have a husband.  I want to feel beautiful for him!  He loves me no matter what size I am!  He sees the inner me.  He loved me at a size 28 and has never seen me less that 195 pounds.  BUT, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and feel like I look like what he SAYS I look like.  SO that when he compliments me, I can accept it graciously and willingly and not just nod and and "yeah right".
• I have my own life to live ahead of me. I can do it so much more successfully when I can move and breathe and live it to the full!  I hate the extra pains and aches that come along with gaining weight!  The knee strain.  The neck and shoulder aches.  My heels begin to ache and I'm constantly asking Hubs to rub my feet.
• I want to sleep better!  I had much better sleep quality 50 pounds ago!  I miss that!  I could sleep thru the night and not get up to pee.  Not toss around trying to find that cool and comfy sweet spot....  (Sigh...)
• I just don't want to be the fat person in every picture!  You all get that right?  Now, I come from a family of overweight people.  So, I'm not the only one.  But, I'm talking about family, friends, church, etc....  I'm tired of having to angle, turn, hide and try to get the JUST RIGHT pose to look less fat.

Now, after all of that, I don't have a specific # or size in mind.  I have a general pound and size in mind, but it is more about how I feel inside, my energy level and how I look when I see myself in the mirror and in a photo.  I'm not out to be model thin.  Just me.  Trying to find my real self....  You feeling that too?  I've got some weight to lose.  I've got a ways to go to get healthy.  Come along for this journey and let's find it together!